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Life has been pretty crazy these last several months. I finished up my second year of university in the spring, have been working at my local library, and have been planning my wedding. Wedding planning is crazy, and now I definitely understand why people hire wedding planners (though, I don't understand why people become wedding planners).
But because obviously there wasn't enough chaos in my life lately, on Monday evening, my mom fell and broke her femur at work. I'm getting married on Saturday. Everything is chaotic, and whether or not my mom will be able to be there is still up in the air.
Sigh.
Life is hard.
But because obviously there wasn't enough chaos in my life lately, on Monday evening, my mom fell and broke her femur at work. I'm getting married on Saturday. Everything is chaotic, and whether or not my mom will be able to be there is still up in the air.
Sigh.
Life is hard.
tired
sometimes I wish that everything would just stop.
just for a little while.
school, schoolwork, people, life ... everything.
just stop.
just long enough for me to catch my breath.
just long enough for me to sleep.
because somehow, I feel like if I could sleep for a while ...
maybe I'd feel better.
I want to feel better.
but maybe it wouldn't help.
I'm just so tired.
physically.
emotionally.
tired.
je sais pas.
Sometimes I feel like maybe every song worth singing has already been written.
Like every word worth hearing has already been said.
Like every picture worth being seen has taken.
Like maybe I should simply exist in silence. In solitude.
Or maybe I shouldn't exist at all.
To be chaos.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be chaos.
Calamity.
Disaster.
To be as unpredictable and unyielding as a storm.
[And perhaps, too, to be as carefree.]
But alas, I am quite the opposite.
I thrive in safety, in structure.
[I am practically the definition of predictability.]
A mountainous adventure.
Today, I found myself atop a mountain.
Sad and mad and hurt and confused.
Lost and lonely.
After the long and perilous journey up there, I sat to contemplate everything. And then I realized that everything sucks.
My next, and perhaps an even better, realization was the fact that I didn't know how to get down.
So there I was, trapped on top of the mountain. The wind began to blow as the sun dipped down behind the distant hills. And then the rain began to fall. Lightly, at first. Then all at once, it began to pour.
By this point, I had begun to wander the top of the mountain hoping to stumble across the way down. (I did more stumbling tha
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Congratulations! I hope that everything went well and that you were surrounded by all those you love and who love you.